THEY COULDN'T BE FUNNIER

I think they're messing with us.

The lack of clearance could waste precious time in the event of an emergency.
“[He] would have to jump through hoops” to get more detailed classified information, a source said.

Because nobody except Snowden, Chelsea Manning and you would have any access to classified information.

It's as believable as Gore with his secret information about Global Warming that nobody was going to tell you about because, classified.